| Back in the early days of my marriage, I had made the | | | | anything you can think of. You can do whatever you |
| mistake of bringing the game Gothic into our home. My | | | | want in Gothic. |
| husband and I were still in that blissful, honeymoon | | | | Me: Can you sit around and eat cheetos? |
| period and I really had no idea that his addiction for | | | | Perplexed Husand: There are no cheetos in Gothic. |
| games rivaled only Bobby Brown's addiction | | | | Me: So, well no cheetos, well then......is there a purpose |
| for..well...anything other than games. Happily, I installed | | | | to the game? And why are you a prisoner? |
| Gothic, giddy that I had found a game that looked | | | | Not-So-Patient Husband: (exasperated) I just told you |
| interesting to play and was a bargain at under twenty | | | | the purpose. To become whatever you want to |
| bucks. My husband had already informed me that he | | | | become. And I don't know why you are a prisoner. |
| had downloaded the demo and wasn't interested, and | | | | You just are. You decide why you are a prisoner. |
| so for a few sweet hours Gothic was all mine. | | | | Me: Perhaps because you ignore your wife. |
| And then my husband woke up from his nap. | | | | Smart Husband: (silent) |
| "What's that?" he asked, looking over my shoulder. | | | | Me: Okay, well, anyway. Say I want to become a |
| "Oh, Gothic. You tried it, remember? You didn't like it so | | | | non-prisoner. Can I do that? |
| I'm going to play it." | | | | Still-Somewhat-Patient Husband: Well, yes, I guess that |
| "Yeah...I remember." He said warily. He leaned in closer. | | | | is the overall purpose of the game. But don't you see, |
| Now, I'm not the greatest gamer that has ever lived. In | | | | you can be an archer? |
| my twenty years of gaming I've finished exactly one | | | | Me: So Gothic is great because you can be whatever |
| game (unless you count Pong). My love of games is | | | | you want to be. |
| only exceeded by my complete inability to be any | | | | Darling Husband: (nodding excitedly as I was beginning |
| good at them. Having my die-hard, gamer husband | | | | to catch on)YES! |
| giving orders behind me got to be a bit nerve-racking. | | | | Me: And that's it? So it's basically a clickfest? |
| "Go here." "You should have bought the sword." "Why | | | | Not-Quite-As-Patient Husband: Well, you can explore |
| didn't you train when you had the chance?" "You can't | | | | too. Part of the beauty of Gothic is that you never |
| leave the camp without pants." | | | | stop exploring. Each little nook and cranny of the |
| After nearly two hours of this I finally gave in and let | | | | universe holds mysteries for you to unfold. And the |
| him have at it. That was the very last I saw of my | | | | replayability (sweat beads on his head) is great! You |
| husband's face for the next three months. He was so | | | | can replay in each different camp pursuing each |
| absorbed in the Gothic world that I actually began to | | | | differerty type of career. It is never the same. |
| wonder what he might look like. I took out old pictures | | | | He had the same look of joy I felt when Target was |
| to remind me. Every once in awhile I'd catch a fleeting | | | | having a two for one hot dog sale. |
| glimpse of him, running from the computer to the fridge, | | | | Me: Is the ending always the same? |
| and maybe to the bathroom, but other than that I was | | | | Exasperated Husband: Well, yes I guess so. But it's the |
| a single woman. | | | | journey, see? |
| That experience was as close as I've ever felt to | | | | I was beginning to feel sorry for the guy. He was really |
| being cheated on. | | | | doing his best to enlighten me. |
| When he finally beat the game, (and then later Gothic | | | | Me: If the ending is always the same then you really |
| 2) he emerged, a tired lion after the hunt "It's the best | | | | can't become what you want to be. Ultimately you are |
| game ever," he'd tell anyone who would listen. People | | | | a puppet right? |
| grew weary of his Gothic banter. They had heard of | | | | Not-So-Darling Husband: No, you arent a puppet You |
| his heroic deeds so many times their ears bled. I had to | | | | still have free will. |
| hire people to pretend to be interested, but he even | | | | Me: Anything else I should know? |
| managed to run them off. For months I endured this, | | | | Defeated Husband: Well, outside the barrier the king is |
| and then on one beautiful spring day he did not | | | | raging war on orcs. The irony is that he needs ore to |
| mention the game, and I knew life was back to normal. | | | | defeat the orcs. The only place to get the ore is... |
| That was until a few weeks ago, when he returned | | | | Me: Inside the barrier, right? |
| from a three-week trip to the bathroom, PC Gamer in | | | | Jubilant Husband: Yes! |
| his hand. "They are going to release Gothic 3 soon!" he | | | | Me: So how do they get the ore if you are destroyed |
| announced merrily, plopping down in front of the | | | | crossing the barrier? |
| computer to check his available RAM, and then my | | | | Darling Husband: It's magic ore. |
| world went black. What was it about this game that | | | | Me: Of course. |
| made my husband disappear so completely that I had | | | | Darling Husband: And people can go inside the barrier |
| to file a missing person's report? I had to find out. | | | | and ore can be moved out. So, one of the camps has |
| Me: Honey, is Gothic your all-time favorite game? | | | | created a barter system with the king. They supply the |
| Darling Husband: Yep | | | | king ore and the king supplies them with food, supplies, |
| Me: On a scale of 1-10 what would you rate this | | | | women... |
| game? | | | | Me: Women???? Do the women WANT to go in |
| Darling Husband: 10 | | | | there, with all the prison men? Do they know what |
| Me: A ten? Really? You've never given anything a ten. | | | | they are getting into? |
| Whose the hottest woman you can think of? | | | | Desperate Husband: Well, nobody wants to go in there. |
| Darling Husband: I don't see the point of this question | | | | But... |
| Me: Just answer. Who would you say is the hottest | | | | Me: How can you like a game where women are |
| woman you can think of? | | | | treated like a commodity? I bet the men are fat and |
| Darling Husband: Okay...Angelina Jolie | | | | greasy and old too. Right? |
| Me: (throwing a shoe at him). Okay...fine...but the right | | | | Husband-Who-May-Have-Said-Too-Much: ...... |
| answer was me. Havn't you learned anything yet? | | | | Me: I bet the women have to cook and clean after |
| Disgusting Husband: Oh yeah...I meant to say that. | | | | their "other" duties too. I bet the men don't have any |
| Me: Uh-huh...Anyways, would you give Angelina a 10? | | | | hair. You know what it's like to have to be a slave to a |
| Disgusting Husband: Nah | | | | bald man? |
| Me: Would you give ANYTHING a 10? A food, another | | | | Wishes-He-Wasn't-A-Husband: They aren't real |
| game? Anything besides Gothic? (our love perhaps, | | | | women you know. |
| you cold-hearted man) | | | | Me: .... |
| Stupid Husband: Nah | | | | Darling Husband: .... |
| Me: Okay, fine. What is Gothic about? Tell me why | | | | Me: Sounds like a horrible game. |
| you wet your pants whenever you hear that word? | | | | Distressed Husband: (looking defeated) |
| Now This is the part of the conversation I like to | | | | Me: Okay, fine. I'm an adult. I will get beyond the |
| call....You had to ask. | | | | traficking of women. Tell me more. |
| Long-Winded Husband: Gothic is an open-ended RPG. | | | | Darling Husband: Well, the best part of the game is the |
| You start out a prisoner within a clear, magical barrier. | | | | layers. There is politics and espionage among the |
| If you pass through the barrier you die. You have to | | | | camps. Each has it's own agenda. It's a huge spiral |
| join one of the three prison camps. There is the old | | | | storyline. It's (wipes a tear from his eye) the best game |
| camp, and the new camp, and a hippy, commune type | | | | I have ever played. |
| camp where you sit around and get high. | | | | And we had come full circle. Now for my husband to |
| Me: Well, that's an obvious choice. | | | | say it's the best game he has ever played is truly |
| Oblivious Husband: (continues unphased) After you | | | | something. I can't think of a game he hasn't played. For |
| decide which camp you join you work your way up | | | | him to play tribute to this sleeper game, Gothic, really |
| through the ranks. You can 'level' any skill you want. If | | | | gave me pause. |
| you want to be a mage, you can be a mage. Like | | | | Me: Honey, do you love me as much as you love that |
| archery? You can be a great archer. Melee, thief skills, | | | | game. |